Absolutely not born to run
Absolutely not born to run
Two Bruce references in two weeks?
On Sunday, I ran the Edinburgh Half Marathon and achieved a lifetime PB—a time that, for many, would be disappointing, but for me, was a huge win.
I’ve written before about my experience as a late-blooming runner, having completed the Couch to 5K app during lockdown and running my first Great North Run in 2021. So, I won’t go too far into my history, but I will say this: I am not born to run.
In fact, I am not particularly genetically blessed in any form of physical movement. I am very clumsy (I actually fell twice during Edinburgh training), and my brain-to-limb connection definitely doesn’t work in the same way as those who are naturals to the sport.
What appeals to me about running is its mindful nature. You are only competing with yourself, and there is no team relying on you to achieve anything. It’s just you and your own personal goals, whatever they may be.
As a woman, it can be difficult to extricate exercise from diet culture, something I have no interest in pursuing. Of course, there are parts of the running community dedicated to weight loss; in the same way, there’s a small group of men who seem personally offended by anyone who chooses to wear a running vest for anything less than an ultra. As with any activity, you have to find your tribe.
If you’re thinking about going for a jog, then there are some great slow-running accounts to follow over on Instagram. These lasses actively fight against the superiority culture upheld by some parts of the running community.
They say:
It’s okay if you walk
It’s okay if you need to stop altogether
It’s okay to abandon a run
It’s okay to run 40min+ 5K
Even after all of that, you can still call yourself a runner.
I particularly recommend following Jenny Mannion, Runs With Emily and Celina Stephenson.
The battle of the ego
For me, running has become more than just an exercise routine. It’s a fixed point in my week where I get to be myself— not a business owner or a mother, just someone who is working towards a little personal goal and getting slightly better every day.
Having a baby in 2022 knocked my running practice back by several years. In fact, I have still yet to beat my pre-pregnancy 5K or 10K times, which is why I was so surprised to knock four minutes off my half marathon time. But maybe it wasn’t surprising at all, as I closely followed a training plan (using the Runna app), and I diligently went on every run, keeping a slow and steady pace almost all of the time.
Nothing taught me about managing my ego quite like running. I fall over, I get a cramp, I have to walk, I lose my breath, and I am overtaken by a bloke old enough to be my grandad. And yet, I keep going because, in reality, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing as long as you are doing your best.
Training your brain
I have definitely noticed I am starting to apply this lesson to my life outside of running. I am taking a longer-term approach to goals, and I don’t feel like progress is lost if I am ill or parenting gets in the way. For example, we recently bid for a project that we didn’t win. I’d be lying if I said I was immediately fine with it, but I definitely feel like I got over the rejection quicker than I would have in a previous life.
And, since losing that project, a few others have come to our door that we wouldn’t have had the capacity for if we had won. I’m not going to say “everything happens for a reason” because as someone who lost their mam to a vicious cancer at 27, I don’t believe this at all. But I do subscribe to the belief that things don’t always come easy, and the journey to success isn’t linear. Perhaps most importantly, success itself is different for everyone but no less worthy.
I will say that the journey to my half marathon PB was far, far more brutal than the race. If anything, the race was kind of… easy? I only noticed aches and pains in the last mile or two, and for the majority of the race, I was in Zone 3, which is a relatively relaxed heart rate zone. I didn’t push myself to go faster until the very last mile, because I had 100% faith in my training. I knew that I had put in the groundwork to get the time I wanted, that was those 10-mile runs at naptime, faced with an afternoon of parenting a toddler or squeezing interval training in before pick-up, and then not getting a shower or food until well after my daughter’s bedtime. It was uncomfortable and tiring, but it was also the thing that got me through the week.
So, whether you are embarking on Week 1 of Couch to 5K or planning an ultra marathon, you can adopt this mentality. Any goal is achievable, but success doesn’t matter as much as the journey you take to get there.
Other than running the half marathon, I have mostly been reading or working this week. Here are some highlights:
📚 All Fours by Miranda July - A very, very strange tale of menopause and mid-life wants. Go into this one with an open mind.
📚 Is This OK?: One Woman's Search For Connection Online by Harriet Gibsone: This memoir had me laughing out loud as she discussed her early exploration of the internet, including MSN Messenger, niche forums and MySpace. If you grew up on the internet in the early 00s, then I highly recommend this.
That’s all from me this week, have a good one!
Ellen x