Coping with *all of this*
How I try to manage my emotions when everything is going to sh*t
What a week.
I don’t even know what to say. The news is relentless. I think Icona puts it best in her recent tweet:
So, if you’re like me and feeling absolutely exhausted every time you look at your phone, catch the news on the TV or walk past a newspaper stand, it’s time to acknowledge that this may be making an impact on your overall mental wellbeing.
As imminent new parents, Craig and I often talk about the value of being able to actually explain how you feel… and, hopefully, teaching our future child to do the same. In my opinion, the value of putting a word on your emotion cannot be understated.
Shamelessly, we’ve also been watching this season of Love Island and it never fails to surprise me how the contestants often struggle, if not fail completely, to be able to explain how they actually feel. It makes for entertaining telly but it’s certainly not a healthy way to go about building new romantic relationships
Most notably this week, rugby lad Jacques wakes up in the night and pulls his love interest Paige aside to express his confusion about the fact he actually cares: “I’ve never cared before.”
Jacques, who up until this point has been seen as a jack-the-lad and even a bully, has suddenly revealed that his persona may be a hardened shell that he’s developed over time to protect himself from actually feeling things.
I wonder if this will start a discussion about male mental health and taking young boys and men, in particular, how to express their emotions.
So… what does this all have to do with the shitshow that is the current news cycle?
Well, I think we’ve reached a critical point in our existence wherein we have to take control of our own emotions. More often than not, we find ourselves in the throw of an emotive state, be that anger, sadness or downright apathy. The feelings take control over our entire being before we even have the chance to question what’s caused us to feel this way in the first place.
If you have a partner, one of the most effective ways of stopping a downward spiral in its path is to have a trigger word. So, if you notice your partner is getting snappy or withdrawing from the activities that they enjoy, hit them with that word.
I’ll let you into a secret. Ours is bananas.
Yep. If one of us notices the other is having a weird day, and we suspect something might have triggered it - be that a family drama, a gutting news event, less-than-ideal feedback from a client or something else - the other simply says “bananas” and that’s a trigger for the other to stop, take a step back and analyse what’s caused the change in their mood.
We then ask ourselves: is the event within our control? If it’s not then it’s important to acknowledge that it’s okay to switch off the news, uninstall Twitter and just watch Taskmaster for a bit (other hilarious shows are available).
It’s time to protect ourselves, otherwise, we can’t be there for others when they need us most.
Do you have any unconventional hacks for getting through that tough outer shell? Let me know over on Twitter @ContentByTheSea or reply to this email for a chat.
Spending most of our time waiting for a baby, so here are some of the things I’ve been enjoying in the meantime:
📚 Winter by Ali Smith (Seasonal #2)
See you next Wednesday (unless I’ve had a baby) with more musings on topics that are important to me, including but not limited to: mental health, work/life balance, internet culture, and much more.
Ellen
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Enjoyed this? You might like these past issues:
22nd June: Did you jump or were you pushed?
8th June: Why hitting pause is terrifying
1st June: I’m angry
25th May: To err is to human, but when to -er?
18th May: Can you ever be too prepared?
11th May: Finding the path of least resistance
5th May: Should brands take a stance?
27th April: Social media has always been evil
21st April: Who are we really?
13th April: The ultimate grammar debate
6th April: Has social media killed nuanced debate?