Brace yourself. It’s time for the annual shift from “Oh, go on then - it’s Christmas!” - to “I can’t, I’m being good.”
The switch in rhetoric from over-indulgence to guilt quite literally happens overnight.
We go from Baileys before midday to Dry January. Little afternoon naps to cramming into the gym. And, the underlying theme to all of this, is the notion that a New Year could lead to a New Me.
Where does it all come from anyway?
The New Year’s Resolution isn’t a new concept. In fact, the practice of working towards change at the start of a calendar year actually dates back to Roman times, whereby people would reaffirm their commitment to the god Janus, after whom the month of January was named.
Christianity, Judaism, and many other religions have adopted the concept of New Year’s resolutions, or promises, often making a promise to ‘do better’ and seeking forgiveness for past wrongdoings.
What is most interesting to me about this swift history lesson is that resolutions have always been shrouded in shame. The motivation to be better has always come from a feeling that we are not enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think New Years Resolutions are a bad thing, In fact, I think the turn of a new year can be a great time to change habits and set new goals. I have done this myself. I am probably going to talk a lot more about using this
The core difference between a New Year's resolution that sticks and one that doesn’t is the intention behind it.
Are you making plans to exercise more because you’ve been shamed into doing so by the dozens of targeted ads for workout gear? Or is this something you truly believe will bring you joy?
I love running, as you probably know. But running isn’t for everyone. For some people, running is akin to torture. But it’s often the first type of exercise someone will approach when they feel pressure to lose weight at this time of the year.
Sticking to a regular exercise routine only works if you enjoy it. This might seem obvious, but it’s not a lesson that we are all living by. Rhetoric around the gym, for example, is seen as punishing - ‘no pain, no gain’. But, at the end of the day, if going to the gym and lifting weights isn’t for you, then you don’t need to do it.
Try aerial classes, pole dancing, reformer pilates, hilly hikes, cold water swimming, martial arts, spin class… whatever you have always fancied, try; now is a great time to bite the bullet.
Over the course of the month, I will cover in detail the shame cycles and how we can form habits that actually serve us - and not the other way around - but in a nutshell, it’s about finding what makes you happy, forgiving yourself for not being perfect and recognising that there is no real End Goal.
We’re all just a work in progress. There is no medal for finally hitting a certain weight or reading a specific number of books. So we might as well enjoy the journey while we’re here.
What to expect from me this month:
This is the first instalment in my New Year, Same Me series, which will last all of January and into February if I feel inspired enough. Don’t worry; I will still only send one email per week, but you can read more from me over on Substack.
I’m winging it a bit (obviously), but I do have a few plans, including…
Interviews with other writers covering chronic illness, body image, fitness, self-employment and more
Quickreads on topics like how to form a habit that lasts and finding calm in the chaos
Extended editions of Touching Grass, the latter section of my newsletter that usually covers book, TV and film recommendations.
Want to collab?
If you want to be a part of my New Year, Same Me series, then I’d love to hear from you. I am looking for writers to collaborate with, whether for guest posts, sponsorships or interviews.
There is an extended Touching Grass live on my Substack (link below) covering all the TV, films and books I enjoyed over the Christmas and New Year break. Over the last few days, I have mostly been getting back into work and watching For All Mankind on Apple TV+ (highly recommend!)
That’s all from me this week, but you’ll find me on the Substack app all week long and back in your inbox next Thursday morning for more of the same!
Ellen x
You once asked for an interview Ellen, when you had your Conversations by the Sea still going https://www.youtube.com/@conversationsbythesea3889 . Decided to overturn my answer for the last few decades to interview requests from a no to a yes.
Happy to guest post or be interviewed. I'm sure you have my contact details or know how to get in touch.
Love this! Shame is a disturbingly powerful motivator--love that you're naming that as something to watch out for when setting goals for yourself.
I'd love to collaborate more--I'd love to talk more about article swaps, guest posts, and whatnot.