One year later...

Looking back on my first year without my Mam.

On 16th April 2019, my mam passed away at Redesdale Court Palliative Care Facility in North Tyneside.

Last week marked a whole year since her death. I’ve written extensively about my experience coming home from Sydney to Whitley Bay, starting a business and bidding farewell to my Mam and Granddad at the same facility in a joint funeral, so I won’t go down that path today.

Rather, I want to take this opportunity to celebrate everything I have achieved since those dark April days. I have achieved more than I could have ever imagined… not in spite of what I went through, but because of.

Grief was the fuel in my fire

I don’t like to live in a land of “what ifs”. I wholeheartedly believe that I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not experienced such grief and loss in 2019. Not just the loss of two very close loved ones, but the loss of a ‘dream life’ in Sydney, Australia, earning big bucks during the day and swimming in the Murray Rose on an evening.

Had I not received that fateful call on a sunny January morning in Sydney, I would have never hopped on the plane home to NCL with four days notice. I’d have never asked my boss to take my work home with me, unintentionally kickstarting my freelance career.

I’d definitely not have guilted Craig into letting me adopt Potter - who we had looked into adopting 3 years’ prior but had not been in the right financial situation to do so.

(Potter was adopted by another family in 2016 and returned to the shelter in the same week my Mam was admitted to palliative care. Northumberland Greyhound Rescue put out an urgent call for his adoption, as he was particularly distressed in the kennel, having lived in a home for three years already).

I’d have never become as close (again) to one of my oldest friends, Alison of Part Time Beauty, who was an unfaltering shoulder throughout my Mam’s short but distressing illness, having lost her own Mam to the exact same cancer a decade previous.

I’d have never encouraged my best friend Brooke to swipe right on a pretty lass from Ouston, who turned out to be her soulmate (Hi Jemma!)

We’d have never been able to afford to buy our first home; a small former miner’s cottage in an old pit village, and we’d certainly never have adopted Harmony - our second greyhound.

The Butterfly Effect is more than just an above-average Ashton Kutcher film - it’s real. So, if you’re currently in the midst of the worst time of your life, or on the other end of a crisis, hopefully, this will give you some hope. It’s true that you need manure to grow flowers!

And now…

Life is good. Craig and I are both working from home. His job is going steady, despite the circumstances, and I am still pulling in new work. Here’s the only family photo we have from back when you were allowed to go to the pub :( Can you spot Harmony?

Potter & I volunteer at Redesdale Court (when there’s not a pandemic), visiting residents every fortnight for cuddles and scritches (him, not me). This seemed like the best way to give back to the people who cared for my Mam in her final weeks.

So, that’s been a weird patchwork summary of the last 12 months - and my first year without my Mam.

---

As always, I’m taking this opportunity to share the things I’ve enjoyed this week. At the weekend, I binge-watched Netflix’s latest reality TV show: Too Hot To Handle. It’s basically Love Island but with chastity. Honestly, it was total trash - but just what I needed after a very busy at work.

I am still obsessed with my bullet journal and I’m writing about why BuJo is exactly what I need right now on my blog this week, keep an eye out on Twitter for that. Here’s a sneak peek into my Amanda Rach Lee-inspired April theme.

I just finished reading Well of Ascension, the second instalment in Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn Trilogy. If you’re into epic fantasy and you haven’t read this… where have you been? Incredible plot writing but Sanderson’s Mormonism does spark weird romantic relationships and even weirded female characters, so be aware of it.

---

I’ve been doing a lot of Linkedin and general marketing training recently. If you’re ever stuck for what to post on Linkedin, check out this list of 20 prompts I recently put together for my training sessions,

And that’s all from me this week. Come and say hello on Twitter @ContentByTheSea.

Bye!

Ellen x