Two things can be true

"See that things are hopeless yet be determined to make them otherwise."

In a society that wants you to pick sides, it’s worth remembering that two things can be true.

I wrote about our tendency to “pick a side” back in 2022, which feels more relevant now than ever.

Has social media killed nuanced debate?

With talks of a General Election and seemingly endless newsreels covering everything from Rishi Sunak’s penchant for Adidas Sambas to discussions of gender politics and the genocide in Gaza… it’s easy to feel pressure to take a side and stick to it.

Firstly, I want to say this.

It’s okay to change your mind.

I know this isn’t something that we admit to ourselves or others, but it’s true.

Perhaps you used to have an opinion, and now you have reconsidered.

In fact, changing your mind is all part of forming your own opinions. For example, many young people gain their initial political opinions from their parents. This is evident even in the schoolyard, as children echo what they hear at home.

Part of growing up is exploring the world through your own lens and hopefully through that of others. In this process, you will likely start to question your beliefs and possibly even take a 180 on what you previously stood for.

But even the idea of changing your belief from one thing to another infers that you can only take one stance at a time. Human brains are a lot more complex than this, and unfortunately, we’re full of contradictions, too.

This can lead us to enact what some might see as hypocrisies. Animal lovers eat meat. Atheists pray in times of need. We expect perfection from ourselves but allow others to make mistakes.

To be clear, I’m not asserting a moral value on any of these. I am saying that it’s okay to feel torn and that it’s actually part of human nature. What’s not human is taking a fixed view of something and not allowing for any consideration or change.

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless yet be determined to make them otherwise.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

I was thinking about this last month as I marked seven years of being vegan. When I first became vegan, I felt like a light switched on in my head; I could not believe that I had been sleeping on the abuse of the animal agriculture industry. I thought that if it motivated me this much, then everyone must feel the same.

Over the last seven years, I have learned that this is absolutely not the case. First of all, not everyone can give up animal products. There are many health, social and cultural reasons why consuming animal products is necessary for some people. Also, and probably most significantly, progress doesn’t come from being perfect.

In fact, there are far greater benefits to more people opting for a ‘reducetarian’ approach than if a small percentage are perfect vegans. This is an unpopular opinion in the vegan community and one I wouldn’t have agreed with a few years ago. But, like I said earlier, it’s okay to change your mind. I am still vegan, but I know not everyone can be.

Last night, as I entered the second hour of trying to get my toddler to sleep, I was thinking about how much I love her, but I also want her to go to sleep so I can be alone.

There are so many times in life where two things can be true, and that’s totally fine.

Here are some that immediately spring to mind:

I love my child. I want a break.

I am exhausted. I want to go for a run.

I want to save money. I like fancy coffee.

I feel angry about the political situation. I want to limit my access to the news.

I want to earn more money. I want to work less.

What are some conflicting views you are dealing with lately? Let me know in the comments.

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I’m just about recovered from a trip to York for Lauren McWilliams’ hen do/30th birthday bonzana. I met Lauren five years ago at a networking event, and we’ve been close friends ever since. Our friendship is a testament to how freelancing is anything but lonely.

I also went to see Ed Gamble perform his latest stand-up show at the Tyne Theatre in Newcastle. You will probably know Ed if you listen to his Off Menu podcast with James Acaster. His solo show was really funny; I highly recommend seeing him if you get the chance.

Other things I’ve enjoyed this week include:

📚 Isaac And The Egg by Bobby Palmer - A simultaneously heartbreaking and fulfilling take on grief.

📺 Stand Up To Cancer Celebrity Bake Off - This week’s was particularly hilarious with an outstanding performance by Fern Brady, one of my favourite comedians of all time.

That’s all from me this week.

Ellen x