Giving up on the balancing act

Why I'm taking the pressure off (for now)

I'm starting the draft of this newsletter on my phone as I'm trapped under a sleeping baby who is very much in a period of intense cluster feeding. So I'll take any moment's peace I can get.

This week I wanted to talk about balance and why I’m giving up on finding it.

The problem with trying to achieve any sort of work/life/family balance is that, is you're anything like me, then the failure to meet your unrealistically high standards is only met with feelings of shame and guilt. And you know how we feel about those bad boys in this newsletter: not good.

Since my business consists of only Craig and me, the last few months have meant that he's been left to run the show alone.

I've felt guilty for putting pressure on him to maintain a high standard of work throughout my late pregnancy and fourth trimester (he’s smashed it). This isn't just a job for me, you see. It's a livelihood and a freelance venture I started from scratch during the darkest time of my life. Failure isn't an option for me and this business. So, as a result, Craig's bore the burden of working and raising a newborn (not to mention helping our two rescue greyhounds alive) all under the same roof.

I'm jealous he gets to work, and he's jealous I get to spend all day with our baby. There really is no happy medium.

For both of us, it's important to remember that this isn't forever. Things will get easier. And probably harder again. Then easier. With that cycle on repeat for the next several years.

With every new parenting challenge, the balance is reset. Spinning plates is one thing but imagine you're also walking a tight rope in gale force winds. That's what it's like trying to achieve any sort of balance with a new baby, a business, two dogs and a marriage. Not to mention maintaining relationships with family and friends at the same time.

So, with that in mind, I give myself permission (and you reading this) to give up on finding the balance. Some days I hold my baby all day and feed her none stop; others I manage to write a whole article or even go out and visit my friends.

Every day is new, and, with the ebbs and flows of life, a natural balance will be found in its own time. Forcing that balance will only result in feelings of inadequacy.

You can't fail if you don't try.

Let me know your thoughts on balancing life and business over on Twitter @ContentByTheSea or reply to this email for a confidential chat (I might be slow to reply because, y'know, baby).

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Enjoyed this? You might like these past issues:

24th August: The longer I wait, the harder it gets

29th June: Coping with all of *this*

22nd June: Did you jump or were you pushed?

8th June: Why hitting pause is terrifying

1st June: I’m angry

25th May: To err is to human, but when to -er?

18th May: Can you ever be too prepared?

11th May: Finding the path of least resistance