Honestly, I've written about not being able to rest until we feel we've earned it (also with the same title, hehe, great minds think alike), but I'm only just realizing that there's a gendered view towards this too. And of course, there is, this world is full of double standards.
In my culture, most women do not "work" and that's shorthand for saying they're housewives (now called homemakers). But I've not known a single employed woman or a single homemaker rest properly. Most of the moms I know are constantly moving, doing something, picking up after someone. The dads? Well, they've done their day's work at the office and now need to *rest* but there's no such space for working/employed moms.
Things are changing in the urban spaces now, but it's still something that I grapple with too. Resting doesn't come easily to me at all, in fact it has to be forced by a physical issue more often than not. I hope that like you, I'll also learn to make space for rest without needing to "earn" it as my "reward."
I am awful at resting. I can’t do it. I always find something else to do. In a way I see something like writing as rest, but it isn’t the sit in front of the telly kind of rest I need some days. Finding the balance is hard. And tricking myself in to actually resting is harder.
I try to work outside of the house so I am not distracted by loads of washing and I have been trying to do more fun stuff, like drawing or walking somewhere, but there is always a to do list on my mind whether it’s the housework/ the mental load or whether its work I have created for myself it’s always there.
I'm chronically bad at resting. If I know something needs to be done, I'll work myself up in knots until it's done. Need to go shopping? Better go IMMEDIATELY. I'm constantly in a hurry, thinking of what needs to be doing.
Daire, on the other hand, is a voice of ration and time-taking. Not everything needs to be done THIS INSTANT. The world won't end if I don't get to the shop before some arbitrary time of day. I try and listen, to force a bit of rest and relaxation. But my brain has other ideas.
Honestly, I've written about not being able to rest until we feel we've earned it (also with the same title, hehe, great minds think alike), but I'm only just realizing that there's a gendered view towards this too. And of course, there is, this world is full of double standards.
In my culture, most women do not "work" and that's shorthand for saying they're housewives (now called homemakers). But I've not known a single employed woman or a single homemaker rest properly. Most of the moms I know are constantly moving, doing something, picking up after someone. The dads? Well, they've done their day's work at the office and now need to *rest* but there's no such space for working/employed moms.
Things are changing in the urban spaces now, but it's still something that I grapple with too. Resting doesn't come easily to me at all, in fact it has to be forced by a physical issue more often than not. I hope that like you, I'll also learn to make space for rest without needing to "earn" it as my "reward."
I am awful at resting. I can’t do it. I always find something else to do. In a way I see something like writing as rest, but it isn’t the sit in front of the telly kind of rest I need some days. Finding the balance is hard. And tricking myself in to actually resting is harder.
I try to work outside of the house so I am not distracted by loads of washing and I have been trying to do more fun stuff, like drawing or walking somewhere, but there is always a to do list on my mind whether it’s the housework/ the mental load or whether its work I have created for myself it’s always there.
I'm chronically bad at resting. If I know something needs to be done, I'll work myself up in knots until it's done. Need to go shopping? Better go IMMEDIATELY. I'm constantly in a hurry, thinking of what needs to be doing.
Daire, on the other hand, is a voice of ration and time-taking. Not everything needs to be done THIS INSTANT. The world won't end if I don't get to the shop before some arbitrary time of day. I try and listen, to force a bit of rest and relaxation. But my brain has other ideas.
I'm trying to retrain it. But my god it's hard.