As lockdown continues to ease, I think many people (me included!) are experiencing feelings that we werenβt expecting. Many of us spent the last year living very small lives, barely leaving the house and certainly not travelling outside of our towns and villages. And now things are βgoing back to normalβ (to an extent), itβs all a bitβ¦ overwhelming.
While some people have embraced the return to normality, others are anxious about doing things that used to be routine. Iβve been to the pub a good few times already and even managed to book a sneaky couple of nights away for later this month, but that doesnβt mean I havenβt noticed an increased sense of anxiety when going out into the world.
Itβs also worth noting that Iβm no stranger to anxiety. With NHS-approved serotonin pumping through my veins and a mental map of just about every spot in the North East where Iβve had a panic attack, itβs fair to say I am an anxiety veteran. I was anxious before it was cool (in case itβs not obvious, thatβs a joke).
So, whether youβre noticing a return of old symptoms or experiencing anxiety for the very first time, here are some things that help me:
Give yourself plenty of time to get places
If youβre returning to the office, heading for a client meeting or just going for a coffee with friends, leaving the house early will ease any anxiety about being late. If you arrive early, you will feel calmer and in control when your company joins you.
Tell the person youβre with how you feel
This was a game-changer for me. I used to suffer extreme anxiety and panic attacks, particularly at work. But then I realised one of the main recurring thoughts whizzing through my head was βbut what will people think?β so, I just started to tell people: βFeeling a bit nervous today, just in case you wonder why Iβm fidgeting!β or βIβm not feeling myself, Iβll be fine but I might pop out for some fresh air.β
Iβve never had anything other than a sympathetic response to this and, to make things even better, this always seems to significantly reduce my anxiety symptoms as I am no longer bothered about what they think.
Consider avoidance as a last resort
Back in the day, avoidance became one of my biggest coping mechanisms for anxiety. At least I thought it was helping me to cope, but eventually, I realised that it was, in fact, making me much, much worse. Determining the scenarios that make you feel anxious is just the first step towards overcoming the panic, but if you choose to avoid every anxiety-inducing occasion, youβll be left with a long list of places you canβt go and an even bigger mountain to climb.
Thatβs not to say that avoiding a situation where you feel anxious is a failure. Iβm a firm believer in self-preservation, particularly in terms of mental health. If late bars arenβt your thing then consider meeting your friends for coffee, if you feel stuck at a restaurant table then ask someone for a walk instead.
But, itβs vital to weigh up the long term impact of avoiding a situation - and asking yourself why you are avoiding it. If itβs simply something you donβt enjoy, then thatβs fine - but if you are walking the long way to work because you once had a panic attack on the alternate route (me in 2014), then I recommend looking into getting some practical help, like a course of CBT.
Take it easy on yourself
Youβre living through a global pandemic, and even though the numbers are improving and many of us are returning to our favourite social activities, weβre still far from βback to normalβ.
And, of course, everyone is different - so I asked the Twittersphere to share what helps them get through periods of anxiety. Here are some of the responses.
If youβre struggling to find joy in something you used to love, or youβve found yourself feeling anxiety for the first time in your life, try to remember that itβs completely fine. Weβre in unchartered territory and thereβs no right way to go on, so if that means youβre not ready to go out yet: thatβs ok. And if it means youβre absolutely clamming on a pint in the beer garden: thatβs also ok.
As long as you behave responsibly and consider other peopleβs safety at all times, youβre doing alright.
Have you been experiencing more anxiety since lockdown lifted? Let me know on Twitter @ContentByTheSea or reply to this email for a little chat.
π Ruin and Rising (#3 Shadow & Bone Trilogy) by Leigh Bardugo
No spoilers from me as this is the third and final book in a trilogy, so thereβs not much I can say other than itβs a decent YA fantasy series.
π Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid
The new novel from the great mind behind Daisy Jones and the Six and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Malibu Rising doesnβt disappoint. Great beach/backyard read - I inhaled it in just three days!
π₯ Bo Burnham: Inside (Netflix)
I only just watched this yesterday so I am probably not quite ready to give my full thoughts. Itβs still sinking in. Comedian Bo Burnham spent the last year recording a special inside his own home, documenting his own mental health downfall and other bittersweet moments. Itβs a journey, thatβs all Iβll say.
Rose Matefeo wrote and starred in this hilarious and light-hearted rom-sit-com. An easy watch and nice palate cleanser if you canβt stop crying after Bo Burnham: Inside.
Thatβs all from me this week, see you all next Wednesday for another email about mental health and working life.
Ellen x
Enjoyed this? You might like these past issues:
3 June: Sciatica strikes back
26 May:Β Looking after yourself is hard
19 May:Β He just canβt decide
12 May:Β Getting titillated by the tangible
5 May:Β Taking it all in
28 April:Β Be a better cheerleader
21 April:Β The power of procrastination
14 April:Β How to sell without feeling icky
7 April:Β Am I a bad feminist for wanting to lose weight?
31 March:Β The rescue dogs that rescued us
24 March:Β Feelings are meant to be felt
17 March:Β I sent a newsletter every week for a year
10 March:Β Iβm triggered