It's horrendous. I think everything you've described (especially the hypocrisy of people saying BeKind in one breath and spouting cruelty the next) is symptomatic of a generally miserable society. There are no good or bad people - only joyful or miserable people (as Sadhguru put it).
Look at all the wellness advice you see everywhere nowadays. 99% of it relates to self-care of some kind or another; and yet, the one unifying factor behind all the world's major moral philosophies (all those that have stood the test of time) advises the exact opposite - that in order to be happy, we have to transcend the self and act for others (in other words, to put love and compassion at the heart of every decision we make that affects other people). Despite all the differences between the world's myriad axiological philosophies / belief systems, this is the one thing common to them all.
But somehow it's almost completely absent from modern conversations about how to look after yourself. No wonder people are miserable (and mean) when they're told by society to hyper-focus on themselves.
I think this problem is only going to get worse in the years to come, as more and more aspects of our lives play out digitally.
"No wonder people are miserable (and mean) when they're told by society to hyper-focus on themselves." This is EXACTLY the issue, and so well put - it all plays back into the ever-growing concepts of hyper individualism and 'main character syndrome'
You've completely hit the nail on the head here. I too noted the piss-taking posts with disappointment because it was pretty clear for some time that things were not ok with Liam Payne. I remember saying to a friend after he had all that work done on his face that he clearly wasn't a well guy and it was so sad how unsupported he seemed.
Liam was subjected to mockery and disrespect on a global scale for some time, but now of course, he's the subject of mass grief and posthumous admiration.
It's a total head fuck and it happens time and time again. Thinking of the people who knew and loved him, especially his young son. A tragedy.
Thanks Lauren, I know - it's weird that it's not even been a week since this happened and no one is even talking about it anymore. People love the shock-value of a big story, but forget that's someone's life (and the lives of those around them).
So well said, Ellen. I always love your newsletters, that feel more like essays in the best way, and this one is spot on. Personally I think this "humilitainment" mindset is the reason behind why bullying in schools/young people is so bad now and seems to keep getting worse. Sure, there has always been bullying in existence, but not the levels and cruelty that it seems to have now - of course spurred by access to technology, but technology is a neutral party, a tool. It's humans that use it for either good or bad purposes...
When grown adults can get away with mocking or being publicly cruel to celebrities, what does that model for children? That some people "deserve" cruelty. No one does of course, but that's the message it sends. That if someone you don't like gets "too big for their britches" it's ok to tear them down.
Until we adults can act respectfully to each other, how can we expect our teens and young people to?
I think you're totally right, it depersonalises people and that filters through to young people. Especially with online/cyber bullying and the anonymity of this. I'm 33 and this only just started when I was in school, and I would absolutely hate to be that age now.
And you're right, often children (especially very young ones) will repeat things they've heard at home, which might be the first place they have heard these hateful views. It's awful and something I worry about when my own daughter is of school age.
It's horrendous. I think everything you've described (especially the hypocrisy of people saying BeKind in one breath and spouting cruelty the next) is symptomatic of a generally miserable society. There are no good or bad people - only joyful or miserable people (as Sadhguru put it).
Look at all the wellness advice you see everywhere nowadays. 99% of it relates to self-care of some kind or another; and yet, the one unifying factor behind all the world's major moral philosophies (all those that have stood the test of time) advises the exact opposite - that in order to be happy, we have to transcend the self and act for others (in other words, to put love and compassion at the heart of every decision we make that affects other people). Despite all the differences between the world's myriad axiological philosophies / belief systems, this is the one thing common to them all.
But somehow it's almost completely absent from modern conversations about how to look after yourself. No wonder people are miserable (and mean) when they're told by society to hyper-focus on themselves.
I think this problem is only going to get worse in the years to come, as more and more aspects of our lives play out digitally.
"No wonder people are miserable (and mean) when they're told by society to hyper-focus on themselves." This is EXACTLY the issue, and so well put - it all plays back into the ever-growing concepts of hyper individualism and 'main character syndrome'
You've completely hit the nail on the head here. I too noted the piss-taking posts with disappointment because it was pretty clear for some time that things were not ok with Liam Payne. I remember saying to a friend after he had all that work done on his face that he clearly wasn't a well guy and it was so sad how unsupported he seemed.
Liam was subjected to mockery and disrespect on a global scale for some time, but now of course, he's the subject of mass grief and posthumous admiration.
It's a total head fuck and it happens time and time again. Thinking of the people who knew and loved him, especially his young son. A tragedy.
Thanks Lauren, I know - it's weird that it's not even been a week since this happened and no one is even talking about it anymore. People love the shock-value of a big story, but forget that's someone's life (and the lives of those around them).
So well said, Ellen. I always love your newsletters, that feel more like essays in the best way, and this one is spot on. Personally I think this "humilitainment" mindset is the reason behind why bullying in schools/young people is so bad now and seems to keep getting worse. Sure, there has always been bullying in existence, but not the levels and cruelty that it seems to have now - of course spurred by access to technology, but technology is a neutral party, a tool. It's humans that use it for either good or bad purposes...
When grown adults can get away with mocking or being publicly cruel to celebrities, what does that model for children? That some people "deserve" cruelty. No one does of course, but that's the message it sends. That if someone you don't like gets "too big for their britches" it's ok to tear them down.
Until we adults can act respectfully to each other, how can we expect our teens and young people to?
Thanks Michelle, that means so much to me!
I think you're totally right, it depersonalises people and that filters through to young people. Especially with online/cyber bullying and the anonymity of this. I'm 33 and this only just started when I was in school, and I would absolutely hate to be that age now.
And you're right, often children (especially very young ones) will repeat things they've heard at home, which might be the first place they have heard these hateful views. It's awful and something I worry about when my own daughter is of school age.