The fantasy characters of pandemic lockdown

From the MLM vampires to elven celebrities, grab your cloak and let's meet the fantasy characters of lockdown.

Maybe it’s because I’m reading non-stop at the moment, or maybe it’s because the real world is quite frankly a bit shit but I figured we could all do with some escapism right now.

I have had the idea of common fantasy tropes as real-life lockdown characters floating around my head for a while. So that’s the topic of this week’s newsletter. Grab your cloak and string-up your lute because we’re going on a quest.

The Elven Celebrities

Looking down with love (and pity) on the peasants that inhibit the surrounding lands, these golden beings are blessed with godly good looks and shit-loads of gold.

Their gift to the world in these times of crisis surprisingly is not their fortune but their songs. In fact, they believe their vocal magic, when performed against the backdrop of ‘we’re-just-like-you’ living rooms (their wet nurses nudged gently out of shot), can cure the nasty disease that ravaged mankind.

While there is no evidence to support their philosophy, they continue to burn brightly and, as a result, we love them for that.

The MLM Vampires

Don’t go out after dark because there are vampires about.

The MLM vamps will suck your blood in exchange for opening your eyes to ‘amazing opportunities to make an additional income’.

They prey on the vulnerable female human being, although they have been known to suck on a man or two. Once turned, you will need to keep converting others to continue the survival of your dying, but still somewhat dangerous, race.

The Evil Wizards and their Gormless Henchmen

Trump the Orange, and his apprentice Boris the Yellow, hold a dominant force over two of the world’s most powerful nations. They cast spells using a unique stuttering gobbledegook that results in unrelenting adoration and dedication from all who hear it.

The Heroes

Thank the gods for the heroes, known in some local dialect as ‘key workers’. While they share physiological make-up with us, humans, they also have the incredible ability to feed off applause and cheers, instead of food, sleep and a steady income.

The Tireless Dwarves

Though not considered as important as key workers due to their social stature, dwarves are a necessary part of human existence. They create, build and fix just about everything we use. A common misconception is that they don’t need any protection equipment from the virus as they are poor and, therefore, easily replaced. As far as we know, the applause does not work on them.

Did I miss any? Hit me up on Twitter with your lockdown fantasy tropes: @ContentByTheSea.

---

---

Well, that was fun. Back to reality.

This week, I read three books. I mentioned the Villains Series by VE Schwab last and I read the second (and final) instalment since then - would highly recommend if you like sci-fi/dystopia/YA-type stuff.

I listen to Chanel Miller’s memoir Know My Name on Audible. If you don’t know her name, you will know of her rape case: People vs. Brock Turner. Miller waived her right to anonymity to publish this moving tough-read that explores in detail the before, during and aftermath of her horrific experience at the hand of Stanford’s infamous swimming rising star. It is a difficult one but worth every single second.

I also read The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel, which was pretty meh to be honest - but if you like dystopian stuff, and you don’t mind reading about pandemic that kills 90% of the population, then I’d recommend her other novel: Station Eleven.

What are you reading? I’m always looking for new books to add to my TBR list.

May your Wednesday be short and coffee be strong.

Until next week…

Ellen x

---

Enjoyed this? Read past issues:

6 May - The Personal Brand has never been so personal

29 April - When the inspiration runs dry

22 April - One year on…

15 April - It’s a great time to be a generalist

8 April - Content creators are performing a national service