You can't start a fire without a spark

How the spark of music gets us when we're young

I just wanted to start this week’s newsletter with a big thank you to everyone who sent positive feedback about the first audio edition of the newsletter. I’m aware I speak a little too fast, which is a common Geordie trait, so I have slowed things down for this week. Hopefully, you enjoy and can take me with you on whatever it is you’re up to on this rainy Thursday lunchtime.

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I’m writing this through tired eyes this morning as we went to see Bruce Springsteen at the Stadium of Light in Sunderland last night. All the half-marathon training has clearly paid off, as I danced the night away with no problem at all.

I’d be amiss not to talk about Bruce, and music in general, in this week’s newsletter, since my ears are still ringing from yelling Thunder Road into the drizzly Wearside air.

Ellen and Craig at Bruce Springsteen in Sunderland

I recently heard that studies show that the music you listen to when you are young will solidify your taste for the rest of your life. So, if you’re still listening to the same bands you were when you were 14, then you’re totally normal. It’s all down to nostalgia, a very powerful drug indeed.

One study found that between the ages of 10 and 30 are when this “reminiscence bump applies”, so it makes sense that the music we listen to during our formative years will make a lasting impression. They even reckon that many people will stop listening to new music at all by the age of 30.

While I am prone to a little nostalgia, I wouldn’t say this was entirely the case for me as I have discovered plenty of fantastic (mostly female) artists in my early 30s, including Phoebe Bridgers, Self-Esteem and Wet Leg.

But that’s not to say the artists I listened to when I was a teenager haven’t stayed with me for the last two decades and continue to pull on my heartstrings every time I hear the opening chords of my favourite songs.

From 11, I attended regular gigs at the university students’ union and then the Carling Academy (now NX Newcastle). I saw some pretty incredible artists, and others I completely forgot. Highlights include Incubus (Glasgow, May 2004), Athlete (Newcastle, Oct 2007), Kings of Leon (Newcastle, Dec 2007), and many more.

When not scouring the internet for my favourite band’s latest gigs, I downloaded music to my MP3 CD Player and later Creative Zen (an iPod rip-off) to listen to on my walk to school and at break times in the yard. I have vivid memories of taking Led Zeppelin II to middle school in my CD player and sitting grumpily on the steps while listening to Heartbreaker on repeat.

And while I loved to see current bands live, it was the nostalgia of what came before that truly captured my imagination. Alongside Led Zeppelin, I was enamoured with The Doors and The Beatles— and, obviously, their deeply troubled frontmen.

The Jim Morrison fixation was one thing, but at least my extensive knowledge of John Lennon’s early life bagged me an A* in my English Language exam. I was nothing if not diligent in my fangirling.

And now we’ve come full circle back to Bruce. A core part of my youth was spent downloading bootlegged clips of Racing in the Street and watching the 1975 Hammersmith London performance on repeat. I can’t even really explain what captured my attention, as I had no experience growing up in 1950s New Jersey, but Bruce fans will tell you it’s not about the facts but the universality of the stories he tells and their brutally honest depictions of small-town life.

Being over 30 and a parent means my days of queuing at gigs from midday to try my chance at a front-row spot over, but even was the very depths of the stadium crowd, I still had the best time watching Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band perform for the fourth time in my life.

Given that Bruce is seemingly immortal, I may get a chance to see him again in my lifetime— but there are plenty of artists I never got the chance to experience live, or famous gigs I’d love to have attended.

• The Doors at the Whisky a Go Go (1966)

• Rage Against the Machine at Reading Festival (1996)

• John Frusciante at Paradiso in Amsterdam (2001)

There are probably more, but those are the top few I’ve coveted for many years.

In the comments, I’d love to know which bands you never got a chance to see live, and if there’s a single performance you’d go back in time to attend!

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The weather has been crazy here in the North East this week. Only a few days ago, I was sunning it in the yard and watching the toddler play in the paddling pool, and now it’s cold and rainy again.

So, other than resting ahead of this weekend’s half marathon in Edinburgh, here are some things I’ve enjoyed:

📚Sociopath by Patric Gagne - A first-hand account of sociopathy, really interesting and nuanced. It’ll make you rethink the label often associated with the worst kind of people.

📚Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll - On the topic of sociopaths, this novel tells a fictionalised account of a woman who survived a serial killer’s rampage in the 1970s. I believe this is based on Ted Bundy’s sorority killings, but the author purposefully chooses not to name the killer, nor does she focus on him and his actions in any way other than to tell the story of the victims and survivors.

That’s all from me this week; see you next week for more about mental health for the chronically online.

Ellen x