Could have written this myself, Ellen. From a ‘rushing everywhere NOW problem’ perspective and also because our childcare situation / no one to take the reins exactly align. Sending strength and support!
I feel your pain! The guilt of finding these amazing little people challenging or boring from time to time really gets to me and makes me feel like an awful person, and I too feel more stressed by things going wrong than I ever expected I would. I take everything so personally. Then I beat myself up about it afterwards for not being "able to cope" - even though I obviously am coping, every single hour of every day. I still struggle with balancing his needs and my own, so mine inevitably fall by the wayside more often than I'd like and I wonder why my reserves are depleted. But bloody hell, when it's good, it's great. Think I need to get "this too shall pass" tattooed on my forearm!
Between the frustration whenever you're not able to work & the need to rush everywhere, now!! I feel like I related to this post SO MUCH. I always think things need to be done, immediately, properly, (sometimes perfectly too) and along with actual bruises from running around and rushing into things, I also freely invite stress & anxiety to take up residence in my head. All to realize, I could've taken my time anyway 😭
Between the frustration whenever you're not able to work & the need to rush everywhere, now!! I feel like I related to this post SO MUCH. I always think things need to be done, immediately, properly, (sometimes perfectly too) and along with actual bruises from running around and rushing into things, I also freely invite stress & anxiety to take up residence in my head. All to realize, I could've taken my time anyway 😭
This sounds a rough week - but I relate to every part of it.
Firstly, I'm sorry you got a penalty notice, but don't beat yourself up over it. Swapping playlists on a phone at a red light is akin to changing radio station, or swapping the CD (retro style) - but neither of those were illegal. Every parent has to do it - the distraction of a kid screaming in the back is so much more dangerous whilst driving.
Also - Monday is my favourite day of the week. Because I take the kids to nursery and get to work. Engage my brain. Enjoy some peace. I get to sit down in a comfy chair, pee when I want to, and drink hot drinks when they're still hot. Bliss! I'm only really starting to enjoy my time 'off' with the kids now that they're 2.5 because I can take them out to do things much more easily. I used to have anxiety about those days before now - it's not bad parenting, it's totally normal.
I also found my kids astonishingly boring at that age and felt horribly guilty about it too. Extremely cute and loved beyond belief but gawwwwd. You've *lots* of fun to come, I promise!
As a working freelance mom, I can relate! I'm sorry you're dealing with sickness and all the unexpected realities of that... lost income, expenses, and so on. I get that. I also understand what you mean about of course enjoying our kids but also being REALLY happy when they're off at daycare (or in my case now elementary school) so that we can exist as our own separate people. I really feel that. I was mostly with my twins 24/7 for the first 5 years (school starts at 5 here in Canada) and now that they're in school, it's like I can let out a breath! That feeling of "rushing" is still here, always, but it's lesser on the days when I know I have 4-5 hours ahead of me to work. Calmly. Quietly. It is a JOY both to be their mom but also to have this now separate life that I can dive so much more into my work and developing myself. It really is a bit easier once "real" school starts.... hang in there, mama.
Aw Ellen I’m so with you. Kids are so damn boring and I wish more people said it 😂 thanks for mentioning my piece, I so appreciate it.
I really feel the guilt when I have my phone out to scroll and I just don’t want to play with my kids but we can’t be expected to play with them all day long. It’s too much and I’m exhausted!
I’ve been taking them to toddler groups so they can play with other kids but they still won’t leave me alone! 😂 one day we will get there (I hope!)
Could have written this myself, Ellen. From a ‘rushing everywhere NOW problem’ perspective and also because our childcare situation / no one to take the reins exactly align. Sending strength and support!
I feel your pain! The guilt of finding these amazing little people challenging or boring from time to time really gets to me and makes me feel like an awful person, and I too feel more stressed by things going wrong than I ever expected I would. I take everything so personally. Then I beat myself up about it afterwards for not being "able to cope" - even though I obviously am coping, every single hour of every day. I still struggle with balancing his needs and my own, so mine inevitably fall by the wayside more often than I'd like and I wonder why my reserves are depleted. But bloody hell, when it's good, it's great. Think I need to get "this too shall pass" tattooed on my forearm!
Between the frustration whenever you're not able to work & the need to rush everywhere, now!! I feel like I related to this post SO MUCH. I always think things need to be done, immediately, properly, (sometimes perfectly too) and along with actual bruises from running around and rushing into things, I also freely invite stress & anxiety to take up residence in my head. All to realize, I could've taken my time anyway 😭
Between the frustration whenever you're not able to work & the need to rush everywhere, now!! I feel like I related to this post SO MUCH. I always think things need to be done, immediately, properly, (sometimes perfectly too) and along with actual bruises from running around and rushing into things, I also freely invite stress & anxiety to take up residence in my head. All to realize, I could've taken my time anyway 😭
This sounds a rough week - but I relate to every part of it.
Firstly, I'm sorry you got a penalty notice, but don't beat yourself up over it. Swapping playlists on a phone at a red light is akin to changing radio station, or swapping the CD (retro style) - but neither of those were illegal. Every parent has to do it - the distraction of a kid screaming in the back is so much more dangerous whilst driving.
Also - Monday is my favourite day of the week. Because I take the kids to nursery and get to work. Engage my brain. Enjoy some peace. I get to sit down in a comfy chair, pee when I want to, and drink hot drinks when they're still hot. Bliss! I'm only really starting to enjoy my time 'off' with the kids now that they're 2.5 because I can take them out to do things much more easily. I used to have anxiety about those days before now - it's not bad parenting, it's totally normal.
I can relate to this post so much, Ellen! And the nursery rhymes headlines are a masterpiece! I hope your little one gets better soon x
<Although now my mind is fixed on replaying 'I want to eat, eat, eat Apples and Bananas>!.
I also found my kids astonishingly boring at that age and felt horribly guilty about it too. Extremely cute and loved beyond belief but gawwwwd. You've *lots* of fun to come, I promise!
As a working freelance mom, I can relate! I'm sorry you're dealing with sickness and all the unexpected realities of that... lost income, expenses, and so on. I get that. I also understand what you mean about of course enjoying our kids but also being REALLY happy when they're off at daycare (or in my case now elementary school) so that we can exist as our own separate people. I really feel that. I was mostly with my twins 24/7 for the first 5 years (school starts at 5 here in Canada) and now that they're in school, it's like I can let out a breath! That feeling of "rushing" is still here, always, but it's lesser on the days when I know I have 4-5 hours ahead of me to work. Calmly. Quietly. It is a JOY both to be their mom but also to have this now separate life that I can dive so much more into my work and developing myself. It really is a bit easier once "real" school starts.... hang in there, mama.
Aw Ellen I’m so with you. Kids are so damn boring and I wish more people said it 😂 thanks for mentioning my piece, I so appreciate it.
I really feel the guilt when I have my phone out to scroll and I just don’t want to play with my kids but we can’t be expected to play with them all day long. It’s too much and I’m exhausted!
I’ve been taking them to toddler groups so they can play with other kids but they still won’t leave me alone! 😂 one day we will get there (I hope!)