Lessons from my late mam
An obscure list of things I do because of her
For a little while now, I’ve been keeping a list of lessons my mam taught me. As I get older and further into my own motherhood journey, I realise how many things I do are influenced by the teachings she shared with me during her life.
If you are a regular reader of this newsletter, then you’ll already know that my mam passed away in April 2019 after a very short battle with pancreatic cancer. She was 59, and I was 27.
My mam was born in the 1960s, raised three children in the 1980s and 90s, and worked for the NHS as a highly qualified nurse for over 30 years.
I’d be lying if I said we had a perfect relationship. Mother-daughter relationships are complicated at the best of times, never mind when we were both extremely stubborn people living in a very stressful environment. That being said, she did impart some fantastic wisdom in her lifetime.
So, this week, I just want to share that list of little lessons she taught me in honour of how she continues to influence my life every single day. You might not agree with them all, or they might be things you take for granted. Either way, I think it’s a nice way to remember the small ways a person has impacted your life for a long time after they’ve gone.
Always check the label (inside left) to find out what an item of clothing is made from— cotton is best.
You can tell if a pineapple is ripe by pulling out a leaf—if it comes out easily, then it’s ready to eat.
Air out wounds wherever possible
Cut the stems off flowers before you put them in a vase
Add sugar to tomato pasta/pizza sauce to neutralise acidity (I’ve since learned bicarb of soda does this, too; I wish I could tell her!)
Rinse tinned pulses to make them easier to digest
Teabag and water first when making a cup of tea
Never trust a man who wears his keys on his belt (I'm not sure where this one came from).
Never take ibuprofen on an empty stomach
How to make a salad dressing: acid (squeeze orange or lime), sugar (honey or maple syrup for me), olive oil, and wholegrain mustard. It never fails.
I’d love to hear some of the wisdom imparted to you by loved ones who are no longer around. Let me know in the comments below.
The sun is finally shining here in the NE! It was glorious for about five minutes, but now I’m too hot and grumpy.
Things I’ve enjoyed this week:
📚 Seven Days In June by Tia Williams - A whirlwind romance that got me out of a reading rut.
📺 House of the Dragon (S2) - The show that needs no introduction is back on NowTV.
🎠The Underdog: The Other Other Brontë - I went to see this fantastic production at Northern Stage and thoroughly enjoyed it.
I’m running the GNR (again)
Please sponsor me for my third Great North Run in September. As usual, I am raising money for Pancreatic Cancer UK, a fantastic charity that is making huge scientific progress towards early diagnosis of the world’s most deadly cancer.
This year, I’ll be taking on the route with my brother Joe and husband Craig. This is the first time all three of us have tackled the run together, so it’ll be a great day.
Please consider donating to this fantastic charity. Although it is not as widely supported as some of the bigger organisations, the work it does is invaluable to both patients and families of those with this often fatal condition.
That’s all from me this week. See you next week for more of the same,
Ellen
💌 About this email
I’m Ellen, and I write about mental health for the chronically online. I am a freelance copywriter, strategist and web designer, and I work from home with my husband, Craig, at Content By The Sea. We have two rescue greyhounds, Potter and Harmony, and a toddler.
I started this newsletter in March 2020 and have sent over 170 emails; currently, I have over 1,200 subscribers. I write about a wide variety of topics, including diet culture, my love of running, jealousy, my life falling apart, mam guilt, and this dystopian world we all live in.
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My grandma taught me a cute mnemonic for how to spell necessary: Never Eat Chips, Eat Salad Sandwiches And Remain Young. And my grandad taught me who Margaret Thatcher was and why she was evil.