R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Finding out what it means to me

What a week.

It’s been another funny ol’ week in the world. I truly relate with those memes that make light of all of the “once-in-a-lifetime” events we are experiencing on what seems like a daily basis. Quite frankly, it’s exhausting.

I am referring to the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, of course. In particular, I’m talking about how the internet reacted to the monarch’s death.

I’ll start by saying I am a republican (lower case r). Honestly, if I think too long and hard about the oppression, pain and suffering Britain has subjected other nations to over its lifetime, I feel pretty ashamed to be born here. I don’t believe in harbouring wealth, nor do I think that we, as a nation, should still have artefacts we stole from countries during the Empire (I’m looking at you, British Museum).

So, when the Queen died last week, I wasn’t among those glued to the TV and sobbing into my cuppa.

However, that doesn’t mean I feel comfortable with the rhetoric thrown about by other people who, like me, don’t agree with monarchy as an institution. Any death is a sad one, especially when the person who died was well-loved. And I don’t really think any figure in recent history has been quite as universally adored as the Queen.

In short, I am conflicted.

If you were to ask me how I felt, I probably wouldn’t be able to provide a succinct answer.

On one hand, I feel sad for the Queen’s close family (obviously not Andrew) and the loss they have experienced, particularly how they have to grieve in the public eye. But I also feel quite angry at those who equate the grief they are experiencing to that of losing a close loved one. Quite frankly, it’s not the same.

Here’s a tweet that really puts into words what I am trying to say:

Benefits @Benefitstheband

I spoke at my dads funeral on Monday and I know I’m still raw so take this with a pinch. My grief feels insignificant and I’m tired of hearing the “it’s like losing a close relative” line from media sycophants. It’s really not.

My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones this week, especially the lovely Jen Eastwood - who wrote about the recent and tragic passing of her sister in her newsletter, Nuggeting.

None of this is normal

I also dislike how this has overshadowed so many other important new stories, such as the killing of Chris Kaba, a 24-year-old unarmed black man who was shot dead by police in South London after being mistaken for someone else.

Death is tragic, complex and uncomfortable.

For some people, especially children, the Queen’s passing might be their very first experience of death - like mine was when Princess Diana died in 1997. Public deaths of such scale spark important and powerful conversations that must be had in order for us as individuals to navigate our limited time on this planet.

So, while the Queen’s passing is sad but not overwhelming for me, I respect that for others, it means a hell of a lot more. And, as a result, it’ll take a while for people to process what’s happened and what comes next…

And as for what comes next, I’d like to see this start a national conversation about the monarchy's role in our society. We must shed light on the atrocities people faced under colonialism and at the hands of the British Empire, many of which can still be felt today in countries across the world.

Aeriadne @RileyGryc

monarchists vs. literally the rest of the world rn

I guess some monarchists may find this email itself disrespectful as I bring into question the aristocracy at such a sensitive time, but if not now, then… when?

Let me know what you think on Twitter @ContentByTheSea or reply to this email for a chat.

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Enjoyed this? You might like these past issues:

31st August: Giving up the balancing act

24th August: The longer I wait, the harder it gets

29th June: Coping with all of *this*

22nd June: Did you jump or were you pushed?

8th June: Why hitting pause is terrifying

1st June: I’m angry

25th May: To err is to human, but when to -er?

18th May: Can you ever be too prepared?

11th May: Finding the path of least resistance