Burnout 3: Takedown

Dismantling what it really means to burnout

Recently, I have been learning how to monitor my energy.

Back in May, I accidentally burnt out ahead of the Edinburgh Half Marathon. It was pretty bad. I’ve spent the first couple of weeks of June trying to work out what went wrong, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I missed quite a few signs.

Back in 2020, I wrote about burnout. Ironically, there’s even a section in there about how to spot burnout. I clearly did not take my own lessons on board.

Burnout might not be what you think it is

We’re doing it backwards

When you read self-help books and articles all about ‘avoiding burnout’, it positions burnout as the failure to show up. If you burnout, then you can’t do XYZ.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that this is totally backwards.

If anything, the self-help gurus who motivate you through the lens of ‘avoiding burnout’ simply want to ensure you remain productive for capitalist society.

Don’t burnout or you’ll be useless.

That attitude is dangerously similar to the ableist notion that people who don’t work, or can’t deliver as much for the economy, are not worthy of a good life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you should burnout. I just think we need to shift our perspectives a little….

Understanding our energy levels (not just physical, but mental and emotional as well) will allow us to create a life in which we prioritise our own wellbeing and happiness over all else. This, ultimately, makes us better parents, friends, and family members.

This is a long-term change to the way our brains are programmed. I think seeing it this way will help us escape the burnout cycle once and for all. We’re not changing to avoid burnout, we are changing to live better lives in the here and now.

If you can live like that, then you won’t burnout anyway.

Back in 2023,

Nicola Muthurangu-Hall

wrote about the myth of self-care. Even after two years, this piece is more relevant than ever, she wrote:

Not only does so-called self-care behave as a temporary band aid to symptoms of deeper, complex issues, it also assumes that the subject has the means to execute these tasks, and do so successfully.

The sad truth is that a lot of people don’t have access to the tools needed for REAL self-care, but they may also not have the faculties for the faux version either. This makes the latter insulting at worst, and patronising at best.

And it’s that lack of access to the right tools and support for self-care that's actually pushing us all toward burnout.

We don’t actually know what it feels like to be not exhausted.

How society sees us as workers

I talk a lot about running, so forgive me if I’m repeating myself, but this is a worthy allegory for explaining my point.

When I first started running, I used to sprint out the door.

My kilometer splits would look like an upside-down triangle— gradually getting slower as I ran. That’s because I was using too much energy at the start, and I couldn’t keep up with the pace I set.

Over the years, I have learned how to monitor my body and identify signals that indicate when I can speed up or when I need to slow down. I also don’t always run as fast as I can. In fact, I very rarely push myself to the top 80% of my ability. Running at your top speed increases the chances of injuries (see what I’m getting at here).

Knowing this about myself allows me, sometimes, to achieve the holy grail of running: a negative split. This means I get faster as each kilometer goes by, not slower. A lovely right-way-up triangle on my Strava.

Achieving a negative split in life isn’t quite that easy, obviously. But knowing your energy levels and signs you’re running low are both good places to start.

You cannot wait until you are exhausted to change, just like you can’t get faster when you’ve already sprinted the first 3km of a 5km run. You have to take each day as a new challenge. Work out what you’ve got in the tank, and plan accordingly.

You wouldn’t attempt a PB the day after leg day… so why would you keep pushing yourself in life, too?

I also hate to put the onus on the individual. When it comes to preventing burnout, this is a society-wide issue, and one that would be easier solved with better public health services, more supportive employers, and improved access to talking therapies.

But given the government’s current preoccupations, all of that is unlikely to happen before the next time I (and you) burn out.

So, let’s just start with noticing.

Here are a few signs I’ve noticed in myself that tell me I need to slow down:

Physical

• Restless sleep

• Upset stomach

• Headaches

Mental

• Difficult concentrating

• Forgetful

• Poor executive function

• Phone addiction (a search for cheap dopamine)

• Sensory processing is worse

Emotional

• Crying more

• Feeling angry

• Guilt

• Shame

The last few points bring us back to a point I made at the start… about being useless.

The reality is that if we want to avoid burnout, we have to step away from the idea that usefulness equals value.

You are valuable.

That’s a sentence in itself.

I’ve been working on my own run club, it’s for neurodivergent runners in North Tyneside… so if you’re ND and have always felt like a typical run club isn’t your vibe, then this might work for you. More info over on Instagram @NDRunnersNT, including details of the first run!

ndrunnersnt

A post shared by @ndrunnersnt

I’ve also enjoyed:

Shifty (BBC iPlayer) - Adam Curtis returns with this remarkable collection of archival footage, documenting the rise of neoliberalism and hyperindividualism in the late 20th century.

See you next week,

Ellen x

💌 About this email

I’m Ellen, and I write about mental health for the chronically online. I am a freelance copywriter, strategist and web designer, and I work from home with my husband, Craig, at Content By The Sea. We have two rescue greyhounds, Potter and Harmony, and a toddler.

I started this newsletter in March 2020 and have sent over 200(!) emails; currently, I have over 1,300 subscribers. I write about a wide variety of topics, including diet culture, my love of running, jealousy, my life falling apart, mam guilt, and this dystopian world we all live in.

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