Land of hope and glory

Talking about the guilt of being English

I had a week off as we went on holiday and then immediately ran the Great North Run. Weirdly, I gained a bunch of new subscribers during that time, so I’m a little hesitant about coming back today. Especially given that I have chosen to write about quite a controversial topic.

Let’s get into it.

Before we went away, we saw Kneecap at the cinema. The film is made by and stars the West Belfast hip-hop trio of the same name. Kneecap are total jokers, but they are pretty serious about one thing - freeing Ireland from colonialism and the subsequent revival of the Irish language.

Fortunately, I wasn’t completely ignorant of Ireland’s history of colonialism thanks to my love of the Blindboy Podcast, and also my two best Irish pals

Michelle | Specky Scribbler

and

Daire O S

who actively answer any and all of my usually stupid questions about their culture and country.

Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman

While I am not proudly English, I am English. And, as an English person, it can be quite confronting to learn about my country’s history, and what our nation is responsible for, both on our own shores and, in this case, others.

Back in 2018, Craig and I traveled around South East Asia. One stand-out memory was our visit to the War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh City. I did actually study the Vietnam War in school, but this museum visit was the first time I realised that history is not fact.

It is an interpretation of the facts. They do say history is written by the victors, after all (ironically, a false attributed Churchill quote).

Photo I took at the War Remnants Museum in 2018.

While exploring the museum and reading the wildly aggressive signs about the “evil Americans”, I found myself wanting to make it clear that I was, in fact, not American.

I wanted to absolve myself of any historical responsibility for the atrocities inflicted upon this country and its people, who had shown me nothing but kindness and hospitality.

Here lies the inherent paradox that many of us British (especially English) people feel and struggle with. I can’t think of another country where even the mere presence of our nation’s flag is synonymous with racism, exclusion, and discrimination. Being English is not only uncool, it’s really fucking embarrassing.

No country’s culture is free from influence. But no other nation (except maybe the USA) is quite as brazen about holding cultural ideals that are one or multiple of the following:

• Stolen from another country we colonised (cup of tea, anyone?)

• Appropriated from Indigenous cultures without recognition

• Actively oppressing other nations - and our own - but excused as being important for our heritage and tourism (*coughs* the monarchy)

How can we truly celebrate the country where we live without acknowledging everything that came before? Can we be proud of something that comes as a result of oppression? This is still a truth the most patriotic among us will refuse to examine.

I’ve written before about how ‘two things can be true’ - and, in the same breath, how it’s okay to change your mind. In many ways, this is an extension of that conversation, as it’s our time to acknowledge our nation’s responsibility for violence and, in even right now, acts of genocide.

It’s probably a silly idea to write about this controversial topic when I have just received an influx of new subscribers, but I don’t want to turn away from writing about important topics just because I am nervous about that subscriber toll getting smaller.

My new subscribers leaving as quickly as they arrived

The more I learn, the more I realise how little I actually know.

Here in England, we are not taught in schools about Ireland, for example. We are not even given a factual account of the Vietnam War. We don’t examine the highly flawed character of ‘war hero’ Winston Churchill, nor do we look at British Colonialism over centuries, and even its lasting effects.

Meanwhile, many of our parents and grandparents’ generation are downright offended by us even questioning the integrity of the nation they are, indeed, really proud of.

The England flag is such an ick

So, where do we go from here?

It all begins with education.

It is absolutely paramount that we learn and absorb information from a wide variety of sources, especially own voices. To me, this is where the British education system is going wrong. We are not hearing from the people who lived through, or are directly impacted by, the historical events we study.

I remember one of the most visceral reactions I had during a school history lesson was upon seeing the very famous image of a naked Vietnamese child running away from a napalm cloud. The reason this photo is so impactful is because it shows the victims. It shows children. Just like you, me, or our own children.

Racist people don’t want to admit this, but the difference between us and them is just where we are born. That’s it.

Empathy is intrinsic to history.

If we forget things, we risk them happening again.

I’m going to keep learning and reading about my country, and other parts of the world. I will continue to take a critical look at what I am told is ‘factual’ and question what the source has to gain from this angle.

The more I learn about other cultures, the better person I can be, as it gives me a wider understanding of how other people live, and what matters to them.

We all live on the same planet, even though it might not always feel like it… We are better together than divided.

We went to Center Parcs for a few days and had a fab time; as you can see, Potter loved the off-lead area. He isn’t allowed off-lead day-to-day as he is a flight risk (and also likely to fall over).

Also, I can’t skip by without mentioning the Great North Run! We both completed it with course PBs and have raised over £1,500 for Pancreatic Cancer UK in memory of my Mam, who passed away in 2019.

Other things I’ve also enjoyed this week:

📚Avoidance Drugs Heartbreak & Dogs by Jordan Stephens - Fascinating memoir from Jordan Stephens, actor and one-half of Rizzle Kicks, about his life experience of having ADHD.

📺 Rings of Power S2 (Prime) - TOM BOMBADIL HAS ARRIVED!

📺 Colin From Accounts S2 (BBC iPlayer) - I love this show, it’s so feel good and easy to watch. I am glad it’s back on our screens.

🎧 Fred again.. - ten days

See you next week,

Ellen x

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💌 About this email

I’m Ellen, and I write about mental health for the chronically online. I am a freelance copywriter, strategist and web designer, and I work from home with my husband, Craig, at Content By The Sea. We have two rescue greyhounds, Potter and Harmony, and a toddler.

I started this newsletter in March 2020 and have sent over 180 emails; currently, I have over 1,200 subscribers. I write about a wide variety of topics, including diet culture, my love of running, jealousy, my life falling apart, mam guilt, and this dystopian world we all live in.

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