Let them eat lockdown layer cake š°
So many feelings all at once...
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Last week was tough.
I was feeling down and I couldnāt put my finger on it.
Everything seemed pointless and none of my usual techniques helped, and then I saw this Twitter thread (click to read the full thread):
Turns out Iām not the only one who is feeling depressed right now. Back in March, I was kind of obsessed with monitoring COVID-19 news. I am prone to obsessive and compulsive ācheckingā behaviour and pairing that with my constant hunger to know all of the information about any given situation, I was exhausting myself.
When the lockdown started, it felt like if we can just get over this three weeksā¦ and then the next three weeks, itāll all be over by June.
But now itās almost October and weāre facing the darkest seasons under new rules and restrictions. The global pandemic isnāt going anywhere without a vaccine. I donāt know about you, but Iāve had to reprogramme my brain to even attempt to conceive that this wonāt be over soon.
The human brain isnāt used to dealing with something when there is no feasible end in sight (at least mine isnāt). And I think thatās what hit me and so many others over the last couple of weeks - there wonāt be a quick fix, and in some ways, this new normal may stick around far longer than the virus itself.
The mornings are getting darker and thereās a chill in the air. It's now illegal in the North East to mix with other households indoors, and it seems like not a day goes by without hearing new stories of lost clients, redundancies and insolvencies.
I am so grateful to run my own business and be financially secure, but I do find my depression is made so much worse by the guilt of knowing that things arenāt so bad for me.
The best way I can explain it is that I feel so many emotions all at once, like a bite of a layer cake.
Iām sure I will make it over the wall very soon, but until then I just want you to know that if you feel the same then youāre not alone. Weāll all be okay, but if youāre not okay right now then thatās fine, too.
Dr Ahmad says it better:
So with that in mind, I'll leave you with this š
š This week, I read Anxious People by Frederick Backman, author of one of my favourite duologies: Beartown & Us Against You. Not a fantasy for once, Backman writes what I can only describe as beautiful character-driven fiction.
šŗ The Boys is back on Amazon! Iām not a huge superhero fan but I think that's what makes this show so great. If you like dark and gritty, perfectly balanced with witty and parodical then this is for you.
And thatās it from me this week! As usual, you can find me over on Twitter @ContentByTheSea.
If you liked this newsletter, please share it with fellow debby-downers and sensitive folk.
Enjoyed this? You might like these past issues:
23 September - Poetry in Notion: How one tool revolutionised my work āØ
16 September - A scepticās guide to self development
9 September - A quick one from Bonny Scotland
2 September - Iām here šāāļø
26 August - What I learned from my most profitable months as a freelancer š°
19 August - Donāt optimise your life, just live it šāāļøšØ
12 August: The š© parts of freelancing that nobody ever talks about
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