Let them eat lockdown layer cake 🍰

So many feelings all at once...

Sep 30, 2020

Last week was tough.

I was feeling down and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Everything seemed pointless and none of my usual techniques helped, and then I saw this Twitter thread (click to read the full thread):

Dr Aisha Ahmad @ProfAishaAhmad

The 6 month mark in any sustained crisis is always difficult. We have all adjusted to this "new normal", but might now feel like we're running out of steam. Yet, at best, we are only 1/3 the way through this marathon. How can we keep going? THREAD /x

Turns out I’m not the only one who is feeling depressed right now. Back in March, I was kind of obsessed with monitoring COVID-19 news. I am prone to obsessive and compulsive “checking” behaviour and pairing that with my constant hunger to know all of the information about any given situation, I was exhausting myself.

When the lockdown started, it felt like if we can just get over this three weeks… and then the next three weeks, it’ll all be over by June.

But now it’s almost October and we’re facing the darkest seasons under new rules and restrictions. The global pandemic isn’t going anywhere without a vaccine. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had to reprogramme my brain to even attempt to conceive that this won’t be over soon.

The human brain isn’t used to dealing with something when there is no feasible end in sight (at least mine isn’t). And I think that’s what hit me and so many others over the last couple of weeks - there won’t be a quick fix, and in some ways, this new normal may stick around far longer than the virus itself.

The mornings are getting darker and there’s a chill in the air. It's now illegal in the North East to mix with other households indoors, and it seems like not a day goes by without hearing new stories of lost clients, redundancies and insolvencies.

I am so grateful to run my own business and be financially secure, but I do find my depression is made so much worse by the guilt of knowing that things aren’t so bad for me.

The best way I can explain it is that I feel so many emotions all at once, like a bite of a layer cake.

I’m sure I will make it over the wall very soon, but until then I just want you to know that if you feel the same then you’re not alone. We’ll all be okay, but if you’re not okay right now then that’s fine, too.

Dr Ahmad says it better:

Dr Aisha Ahmad @ProfAishaAhmad

So, dear friends, do not despair of the 6 month wall. It's not permanent, nor will it define you in this period of adversity. Trust that the magic that helped you through the first phase is still there. Take a breath & a pause. You'll be on the other side in no time. /end ❤️🙏🏽

So with that in mind, I'll leave you with this 💛

adamreedhair

YES YES YES

September 27, 2020

📚 This week, I read Anxious People by Frederick Backman, author of one of my favourite duologies: Beartown & Us Against You. Not a fantasy for once, Backman writes what I can only describe as beautiful character-driven fiction.

📺 The Boys is back on Amazon! I’m not a huge superhero fan but I think that's what makes this show so great. If you like dark and gritty, perfectly balanced with witty and parodical then this is for you.

And that’s it from me this week! As usual, you can find me over on Twitter @ContentByTheSea.

If you liked this newsletter, please share it with fellow debby-downers and sensitive folk.

Enjoyed this? You might like these past issues:

23 September - Poetry in Notion: How one tool revolutionised my work ✨

16 September - A sceptic’s guide to self development

9 September - A quick one from Bonny Scotland

2 September - I’m here 🙋‍♀️

26 August - What I learned from my most profitable months as a freelancer 💰

19 August - Don’t optimise your life, just live it 🏃‍♀️💨

12 August: The 💩 parts of freelancing that nobody ever talks about